Let it snow

Jane Doe shouldn't be allowed to feel like this. She wasn't supposed to fall in love or anything. Nope. That was not the plan. But maybe she did. Or maybe not. She has no idea. All she knows is how fragile the snowflakes seem to be and how beautiful the sky is.
She wants to fly away with the snow. But in the same time, she wants to stay still. Waiting for...for what? For love to finally hit her? For memories to tear her apart? For the destiny to be written for her? She doesn't know what to do, so she will just go with the flow.
But the flow...Oh, it's dangerous! Beautiful, but dangerous, dangerous thing. What if nothing is going to happen? What if everything is going to happen? Equally terrifying thoughts, equally magnificent wishes.
She was never afraid to take some chances. But now, too much seems to be in the game.
Jane Doe is watching the snowflakes slowly settling. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow... It seems to be such a simple thing to do! But how can you stay away and just let things happen?
Jane Doe is insecure, but paradoxically she is sure of herself. She's going to let it snow.

Going back to September

The moments when Jane Doe simply sits and lets her memories flood in are not often. But when it does happen, they come crushing down on her...

How did it all start today? Very simple, it began with the sweet rays of sun coming through the window of her small apartment. How did she end up here? Were all her dreams just in vain? Who is she?

A small, tormented figure made it's way towards her. It was a girl, scared of the world but shining brighter than everything else in the room. Her soul was emanating light and hope.

Images from her past took control of Jane Doe. She wasn't in her small room from New York anymore. She was in a backyard, sometime mid-September. There was someone on the swing-set she remembered from her childhood. It was old, but beautiful and full of memories. 

A girl, probably 17, was sitting on the swings, her head bowed. A boy, same age, was standing in front of her, looking angry. 

"What do you mean this time you're leaving for good?" was all he managed to say through gritted teeth. 

"I mean... I'm suffocating in this town. I can't keep on living my life the way others want me to. You know I love you, you're my best friend and this is killing me, but I just can't do it anymore..."

Silence filled the yard and Jane Doe's heart shuddered at the memory of that day. She had been so broken... But why did she have to break him too?

"So what's next?" asked the boy, tears threatening to start falling from his eyes.

"I don't know... I guess I'll leave after graduation."

"Where to? For God's sake, where will you be heading to? And without me?"

"I don't know...Probably New York. I just HAVE do to something! I can't rot in here like the rest of the town! I can't allow my dreams to remain just that: useless, foolish dreams!"

Silence.

Jane Doe was back in her apartment. Tears streaming down her cheeks, pale face, heavy breathing... she finally understands something: she has been lost in her daydream since being 18, and that stopped her from actually accomplishing her dreams. I mean, yeah, here she is, in the big city of New York...and? That's all. No real friends except for Haley James, no hope that this all may change someday... She just wishes Will was here. He would be able to make it all okay. He always did that. He always made her smile. But it was all her fault...

So, this is what she is going to do next: find Will. Jane Doe knows that it had been a while, almost 10 years, and that she was a total bitch for leaving him like that. But maybe, just maybe, the stars will align for her again. Maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.

"What next?" she tells to herself, " I'm coming back to you, Will... Will you be able to forget all these years away and take me back in your life? Am I finally making the right choice?"...

What only autumn can bring in one's mind

Jane Doe loves summer. You would wanna know why, right? Well, summer simply makes her feel... infinite. It helps her believe everything is possible, every dream can come true. Those summer nights, watching the starry sky, talking and talking with her friends, feeling invincible... what more could someone wish for? It just...it makes Jane Doe truly believe in herself.

But when the fall comes...So does the insecurity. Of course, melancholy settles in her soul, but there is also something else... Hope? Or maybe belief... She still wants to think she can make all her dreams come true, even those she isn't even aware of yet.

She watches the sun go down... Nothing uncommon, you would say. We all do that. But at the same time, she takes an oath: Jane Doe isn't going to be just a dreamer. No, she'll be much more.

Jane Doe looks at the sky: she's sure she will find her way among the stars. And, when the time comes, everything will fall into place and she will shine brighter than all of them, all of us. As long as those friends remain by her side and she is able to keep dreaming, everything will be okay.

So, in the end, autumn isn't that awful after all. One must only find a reason, then everything starts looking brighter.

"She took the midnight train going anywhere"

She was not a small town girl, but she sure felt all alone in her world. So she took the midnight train, wishing upon a star that it would take her somewhere she belonged. She has searched several days and nights for the place where she would fell like home. But it was all in vain. Jane Doe stopped at a crossroad. She took in her surroundings: there were stars everywhere, billion of tiny fireflies on the sky. And the smell of the fresh breeze...it was overwhelming. This is the moment when she decided what to do with her life: she was going to stop chasing shadows in the night. Jane Doe wanted to start living. To find out who she really was and what was waiting for her on the other side of the sky. She took a deep breath and started moving towards the other shadows searching in the night. She walked past them and looked ahead: her life was waiting for her. The highway of her dreams was finally open.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfUYuIVbFg0

 

The biginning of Jane Doe

You know how you wish your whole life for something, and when you finally get it, you just can't understand how something like this could ever happen? And it just hits you: this is the end. You have made it, but now...it's over. And you would do everything just to go back where it all started, because, back then, you knew what you wanted and who you needed to be. Now... You have to start chasing a new dream, one that you don't even know if it's you own or someone else's. You have to start  over, on a new path. And you don't know what's waiting for you at the end of the road. It may be something good, something that you never really knew you wanted, but now you feel complete with that something in your life. Or it can be something else, and you will have to start over again. Hoping that this time, it's the right path for you... This is how Jane Doe was feeling that day. It was the end of a dream she chased with all her heart, a dream came true, but tossed away right after that. But it was also the beginning of the new Jane Doe. The better, the real version of her. And this is her story...